Stinky Dog!

“L is relatively healthy and fit. Admittedly she does only have one eye and is stone bloody deaf…”

We have a gorgeous 14 year old dog. She’s happy and tolerant of the children despite the fact she has dropped to the bottom of the pecking order in the house.

You obviously don’t mean for this to happen, but babies and toddlers just require so much attention, where as a seven year old dog (as she was at the time of our first) pretty much just gets on with things.

Now our old dog, L, is a West Highland Terrier. Westies are a small, long lived breed whose only affliction suffered from the curse of being a pedigree dog is a greater risk of skin infection. So L is relatively healthy and fit. Admittedly she does only have one eye and is stone bloody deaf but she doesn’t let that stop her rushing around like a mad thing. The one condition that she does have that is rather bothersome is that she stinks. Of course that bothers those around her more than it does her but it is nevertheless quite a frightful pong that emanates from her general direction.

It’s not her breath, her teeth are and have always been in fantastic condition. It’s not her arse, she’s on a raw meat diet which means her shit barely stinks, let alone her farts. It’s just an old dog odour which seems to seep out of every pore.

She is washed as often as you can safely wash a dog, she has special prescription only (outrageously expensive) shampoo and she has been treated for all fungal conditions which may affect her. She even has her own type of deodorant. All of these make a difference for about an hour after they are applied.

So, in order to try and stem the continuous apologies I make to anyone who comes into the house (“Come in, apologies about the smell we have a very old dog”) I decided to do something about it.

I bought an air freshener, Febrezed the sofas and applied shake n vac (yep, you can still get it!) to the carpet to try and save the lounge from the smell of our poor old pal. There seemed to be absolutely no difference. If anything the smell of old dog is stronger.

So I then bathed the dog again in her outrageously expensive shampoo, washed her bed and threw away an old unused toy. Still absolutely reeks of old dog.

If anything it’s getting stronger, it’s no more the smell of old dog, it smells like something an old dog might have deposited somewhere. I treat the dog with dog deodorant, move all of the sofas checking underneath for rotting dog food or dog piss. Nothing.

I then close up sniff every inch of carpet and sofa and sniff the dog all over. All good. Still stinks of old dog in the lounge.

I then vacuum the carpet again and wood floor, dust everywhere possible, mop the wooden floor, vacuum and clean the fireplace, clean all the windows and steam clean the carpet.

I then finally realise it is stronger in one section of the lounge. I have finally narrowed the source down to the corner of the lounge where our wooden cabinet is. That makes no sense, that’s where I’ve put the air freshener. It then dawns on me, it’s the bloody air freshener I bought in the first place, ‘summer berries’ my arse…Sorry L.